e-Portfolio Posting 2: Comments on Desmond's WA1 Draft

CHUA YUN XUAN POST 2

With respect to the thesis statement, it should be stated clearly that the two reasons are offered on why an integrated approach should be taken in combating global warming, leading from the viewpoint that climate change is a threat to both nature and human. The thesis statement can also be fortified by stating the two reasons explicitly.

For the first idea, the first two sentences can be combined to show the link on why natural ecosystems should be part of our response to climate change. To support this idea, the example of a natural carbon storage system has been cited from the reading. Further discussions on the "basic materials" and carbon reduction can be included to substantiate the first idea. The second paragraph also stated the urgency in slowing climate change before the planet's capacity to accomodate it diminishes to the point of no return.

The second idea elaborated on the potential value of the natural ecosystems and ways in which it benefit and protect human. There is a clear flow on how climate change affecting the ecosystems will in turn affect human.

More compelling examples should be cited in paragraph two and three to support the strong concluding statement that "victory against global warming can be secured". By having a clearer thesis statement and topic sentences, coherence and the flow of ideas of the written assignment will be clearer. In general, the written assignment can be further refined to remove grammatical errors and to improve the sentence structures.