The summary given by Yun Xuan is concise and straight to the point. In his first paragraph he stated clearly the intent of the author and its basic idea of the article. This also helps the reader to understand the direction which Yun Xuan is taking to write further for his summary.
In his second paragraph, he elaborates more about the main idea of the article by citing examples from the article. For his examples, he mentions three distinguished diplomats and their high level of proficiencies in the art of diplomacy have influenced the author to the importance of a strong negotiator for the summit and the criteria to be one.
In my opinion, I think that this summary is short and very well organized. It is also very clear and boasts in text examples to support the idea of the article.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Posting #3-Comment on Yun Xuan's Summary of WA1 springboard reading (Copenhagen needs a strong negotiator)
There are three articles provided for the spring reading of Writing Assignment 1 and the writer chose the third article, ‘Copenhagen needs a strong lead negotiator’, as his reading reference. In his first paragraph of his posting, the writer kicked starts his posting by providing a clear and concise summary of the article he read.
The writer went on to summaries the examples which are found in the main body of the article. He outlined three successful negotiators who are mentioned in the article by describing how they affect the author positively and improved his skills for chairing big environmental meeting like Kyoto Protocol. The writer also provided very detailed summary on each negotiator on their outstanding skills which are essential for a strong lead negotiator.
In conclusion, the summary was very organized and clear to its point. By reading this summary, I can catch the gist of this article well enough and also facilitates my reading to this article.
Shi Tien(Posting #3)
e-Portfolio Posting 3: Comments on Peer Review
CHUA YUN XUAN POST3
As stated, the definition of 'consensus' was cited from article three in order to have a clear reference point.
In response to the feedback on the first written assignment one draft, an additional citation had been added to the final draft to increase the amount of references made from article three. As most of the ideas were not obtained directly from article three, it is difficult to extract supporting evidences or quotations. Thus, supporting of the arguments and viewpoints was done through a logical approach. It is also agreeable that some grammatical errors are present and sentence structures can be further improved.
In conclusion, clear feedbacks with direct references to the portion of written assignment one draft being responded on was given. These constructive comments will definitely aid in improving the written assignment one draft for the final version.
As stated, the definition of 'consensus' was cited from article three in order to have a clear reference point.
In response to the feedback on the first written assignment one draft, an additional citation had been added to the final draft to increase the amount of references made from article three. As most of the ideas were not obtained directly from article three, it is difficult to extract supporting evidences or quotations. Thus, supporting of the arguments and viewpoints was done through a logical approach. It is also agreeable that some grammatical errors are present and sentence structures can be further improved.
In conclusion, clear feedbacks with direct references to the portion of written assignment one draft being responded on was given. These constructive comments will definitely aid in improving the written assignment one draft for the final version.
e-portfolio posting 3- comments on Yun Xuan's e-portfolio posting 2
My thesis statement did clearly state that there two reasons to why we should climate change as one problem for both nature and people. Perhaps I can make it much clearer so that the reader will have no trouble identifying it. I do also agree that I can state the two reasons explicitly but I think that depends on a matter of choice and style of the writer. I personally see no harm in giving a clearer explanation and elaboration in the later part of my essay.
As for his comment on my first idea, I have no idea which two sentences which he is referring to that I should combine. Aside from that, I agree that I will have to give a more in depth elaboration on the 'basic materials' that I refer to in my essay. Doing so will help to substantiate my first point strongly.
In conclusion I do agree with him that I should have given more quotations and evidences from the article that my essay is based on. It is because they will boost my content in the essay and also to make my arguments more convincing.
As for his comment on my first idea, I have no idea which two sentences which he is referring to that I should combine. Aside from that, I agree that I will have to give a more in depth elaboration on the 'basic materials' that I refer to in my essay. Doing so will help to substantiate my first point strongly.
In conclusion I do agree with him that I should have given more quotations and evidences from the article that my essay is based on. It is because they will boost my content in the essay and also to make my arguments more convincing.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
e-portfolio posting 2- comments on Yun Xuan's WA 1 Draft
A clear thesis statement can be found in the second paragraph of the essay. The thesis statement provides a clear indication of the main content of the essay. A clear definition of the word 'consensus' is done in the first paragraph. This helps to set the boundary in which the content of the essay will be lingering in throughout.
Three main ideas thought out by the writer are presented clearly and systematically in the essay. The writer is also able to express his views and reasoning clearly in the main body of the essay. This makes reading and understanding the essay much less of a chore.
However further improvements can be made. Supporting evidences or quotations from the passage which the writer is referring to can be used in the essay. It will help to establish and back up his arguments and viewpoints strongly.
In general it is a well thought and structured essay, at least in my opinion. Grammatical errors are not too common and sentence structures have few flaws.
Three main ideas thought out by the writer are presented clearly and systematically in the essay. The writer is also able to express his views and reasoning clearly in the main body of the essay. This makes reading and understanding the essay much less of a chore.
However further improvements can be made. Supporting evidences or quotations from the passage which the writer is referring to can be used in the essay. It will help to establish and back up his arguments and viewpoints strongly.
In general it is a well thought and structured essay, at least in my opinion. Grammatical errors are not too common and sentence structures have few flaws.
e-Portfolio Posting 4: Summary of WA1 springboard reading (Copenhagen needs a strong negotiator)
CHUA YUN XUAN POST 4
The article by Raul Estrada-Oyuela gave a glimpse of the techniques and skills successful diplomats had displayed leading to a smooth and fruitful conclusion of international summits.
Three particular diplomats stood out for the writer, namely, Jean-Maurice Ripert, a distinguished French economist and former UN ambassador, Tommy Koh, former dean of the Faculty of Law at the National University of Singapore and former UN representative, and Angela Merkel, former Germany's environment minister. According to the writer, Ripert was an optimist in the most adverse of circumstances and had authority over certain countries as a result of his other designation. Ripert also seeked to understand other delegate's concerns and motivation through private consultations. As for Koh, he displayed initiatives in attending to impasses and utilised emotional appeals in order to achieve consensus. In the case of Merkel, she was labeled as extremely committed and versed in the uselessness of inflexibility and devoted to constructive compromise.
By studying them, the writer was able to integrate their tricks of diplomacy in the line of his work and produce fruitful outcomes in many situations.
The article by Raul Estrada-Oyuela gave a glimpse of the techniques and skills successful diplomats had displayed leading to a smooth and fruitful conclusion of international summits.
Three particular diplomats stood out for the writer, namely, Jean-Maurice Ripert, a distinguished French economist and former UN ambassador, Tommy Koh, former dean of the Faculty of Law at the National University of Singapore and former UN representative, and Angela Merkel, former Germany's environment minister. According to the writer, Ripert was an optimist in the most adverse of circumstances and had authority over certain countries as a result of his other designation. Ripert also seeked to understand other delegate's concerns and motivation through private consultations. As for Koh, he displayed initiatives in attending to impasses and utilised emotional appeals in order to achieve consensus. In the case of Merkel, she was labeled as extremely committed and versed in the uselessness of inflexibility and devoted to constructive compromise.
By studying them, the writer was able to integrate their tricks of diplomacy in the line of his work and produce fruitful outcomes in many situations.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Posting #2- Comments on Fan Rui's writing assignment 1 draft1
In the writer’s first paragraph, the effects on global warming are given in form of statistic number and he also discussed on some of the causes of global warming which leads to his viewpoint of how seriously we should treat this problem. The introduction was well written and the development of his viewpoint was clear but descriptions on global warming can be cut down. Furthermore, the writer never answered to the question given and the thesis statement was not stated in his introduction paragraph. He should write his thesis statement to answer back to the question in his first paragraph.
The writer stated one similarity and one difference on what developing and developed countries should do. The writer failed to discuss on the similarity that he brought up, he should give more description on how similar the developed and developing countries make their effort in getting Earth from being warmer. On the other hand, the writer gave better write-up on the difference; there were more discussions on it. To better his essay, more concrete examples should be given to show how difference both groups of countries do in tackling the problem.
The second part of question was left out in the essay, the writer never discuss on the factors that both groups of countries should consider before signing the treaty. Factors like economic and political can be used to answer the second part of the question.
In his conclusion, the writer re-stated his viewpoint and said that the treaty needs to be signed quickly. He should also summarized his whole essay and answered back to the question to make his essay more complete.
Shi Tien(Posting #2)
The writer stated one similarity and one difference on what developing and developed countries should do. The writer failed to discuss on the similarity that he brought up, he should give more description on how similar the developed and developing countries make their effort in getting Earth from being warmer. On the other hand, the writer gave better write-up on the difference; there were more discussions on it. To better his essay, more concrete examples should be given to show how difference both groups of countries do in tackling the problem.
The second part of question was left out in the essay, the writer never discuss on the factors that both groups of countries should consider before signing the treaty. Factors like economic and political can be used to answer the second part of the question.
In his conclusion, the writer re-stated his viewpoint and said that the treaty needs to be signed quickly. He should also summarized his whole essay and answered back to the question to make his essay more complete.
Shi Tien(Posting #2)
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